Hey Jerks! CVHS Reunion Time!

Dear Friend/Former Classmate/Guy who ate his boogers/Kid who pantsed me in 12th grade Pre-Algebra,

To read this will only take a minute of your time and no, I won't be asking you to donate money to starving children in Africa (wherever that is). I am merely writing this to say that myself and everyone else I know would REALLY REALLY enjoy seeing your mug at the 10 year reunion. Because I desire to see you, I am reaching out half-heartedly (because wholeheartedly would require things like driving to your house, and that would be weird).

I understand that you may have some reservations regarding attendance. Items such as a) you're broke b) you're balding, c) cellulite is the devil d) you're unemployed, e) you're still eating your boogers, or f) you're still wearing braces. Understandable.

However, it would really mean a lot to me if we could at least share a moment, a beer, a burger, or a booger at the ESPN Zone this July.

If I were dying, it would be such a better excuse to write this, but I'm not. So bear with me. (I am DYING to see your face tho, does that count??)

And look, I know that items above are quite daunting but just remember: we're ALL broke, we're ALL losers, and as for boogers...well that's something you might want to work on.

Are you worried that you are still socially awkward? Well don't be, cause there will be free flowing social lubricants and stimulants (all of the legal variety mind you) to make you feel like a million bucks! Or at least 50?

So scrape your shit together and jump on the train, cuz you just never know who you might "re-meet," who you may meet for the first time, and/or what warm bed you may end up in. THE OPPORTUNITIES ARE ENDLESS!

Be there and be FALCON AWESOME -- or don't, and be a turd.

From the bottom of my butt, cuz it's so much bigger than my heart*,

Kacie Kane

*and yes, I stole that from a greeting card.

TICKETS ON SALE FOR $75 till Sunday!! GET EM WHILE THEYRE CHEAP!!

Be there or be a burrito face.

Look Here! Shiny Object!
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=48636652963


please pass this on and invite others...love to you, my brother.

Kacie Makes a Funny (hopefully more than one)

The Downtown Comedy Club


Hello Pumpkin Muffins!!! OMG I'M GONNA MAKE YOUR DAY! KEEP READING!

It's the most wonderful time of the year again!! Yes, you know what I'm talking about: me, on stage, making fun of YOU. Just KIDDDING! Sorta. 

Anyhoozer, I will be performing at the Downtown Comedy Club Saturday, July 17th in the 9:00pm show. I've got one of the spots before headliner Erik Griffin and this shiz is gonna be off the hizz so I highly recommend you show your face cuz if it's not there it's fair game for fodder!! 

There is a cover charge but I'm not sure how much. So bring cash and hopefully you'll have enough left over for some cheap brewskis and a street dog. And maybe a hooker.

Show up or throw up!!

Wet Ones,
Kane...and Bindi.

Birthday Party for Michelle, Queen of the Galaxy...FOR A DAY

Who seduces an angel? Who strips in space? Who conveys love by hand? Who gives up the pill? Who takes sex to outer space? Who's the girl of the 21st century? Who nearly dies of pleasure?

AND NO, IT’S NOT BARBARELLA! 

IT’S HER ECUADORIAN DOPPELGANGER MICHELLERELLA!! 

That’s who! 

You know who I’m talking about. It’s the space age adventuress whose sex-ploits are among the most bizarre ever seen! 

MICHELLERELLA NARANJO!!

So come see these ‘sploits and have a drink in honor of her 27th year in this universe!!

And you don’t even have to travel to the planet Lythion to do so. Just show up at The Barbarella Bar THIS SATURDAY at 9:30pm for a sexy evening of beer, cocktails and random things probably made out of leather. 

If you don’t come, Michellerella might have to capture you and bust out her favorite torture device: The Excessive (or "Ex-sex-sive") Machine, which kills through sexual pleasure. Just sayin.’

See you there!