Much like a 3 day old banana, Peters is turning rapidly right before our eyes. A whole year of her life will have officially passed this coming Tuesday* and she wants you to come bear witness to her impending brown spots. For the evening, Marie will perform a ritualistic Australian dumpster dive for the freshest 'nanas she can find to be paired with some Ben from The Bachelorette wine for a cozy birthday dinner affair.
In addition to paying homage to produce in Marie's favorite shape**, Marie will be whipping up some punkin' ravioli, not only to celebrate her birthday but Randy and Sue's absence due to a mandatory evacuation to Italy.
If you wana bring some yum yums or other foodstuffs in the chosen shape, please feel free (even tho she said don't bring nuffin).
Wine contributions are also welcome but please make sure they hail from vineyards owned by sexy ABC Reality TV stars (I've got the Chaz Bono Burgundy covered).
Please "reply all" if you can attend because email chains give Marie K. Peters a boner
9/12/11
Kacie's Birthday Miracle
Please do me the honor of getting your beach buzz on in celebration of my 47th birthday at Big Dean's in Santa Monica.
10% of the proceeds will go to the Kacie Kane Foundation for the Preservation of Miracle Whip as the Preferred Sandwich Spread, directly assisting thousands of spreadless sandwiches everywhere.
WHILE U MIGHT FIND THE WESTSIDE INCONVENIENT AND ANNOYING, IT'S NOT LIKE IM PINNING YOU DOWN FOR VEGAS, crybabies.
Please wear a desirable fragrance.
There will also be cash prizes.
not really.
**Yes, this is some time away but since all of you are quite attractive and popular with super busy schedules, I thought I'd carve out some time in your diaries before it's too late!
RENEE IS A FREE BIRD
She will be done with the bar exam and will be ready for the next bar exam…HOW YOU MAKE A MOJITO!!? GO.
Come celebrate her short time outta the cell before she gets a job making wayyyy more money than any of us and can no longer be bothered to attend our festive gatherings.
She'd love to see your questionably attractive face in order to rejuvenate her SOUL, so please join her Friday, July 29th at THE FAT DOG since the OBESE FERRET is closed that day.
RSVP, just cuz it feels good.
PRETZEL AND CHEESE LOVE,
KANE
invite others if your heart desires it.
Come celebrate her short time outta the cell before she gets a job making wayyyy more money than any of us and can no longer be bothered to attend our festive gatherings.
She'd love to see your questionably attractive face in order to rejuvenate her SOUL, so please join her Friday, July 29th at THE FAT DOG since the OBESE FERRET is closed that day.
RSVP, just cuz it feels good.
PRETZEL AND CHEESE LOVE,
KANE
invite others if your heart desires it.
Matty Leaves La Crusty
Lamar, Colorado
4.2 square miles
Population 8,869 + 1!
If he makes it out of there without being tapped to run a meth lab, we will all have something to cheer about.
Yes, our dear Matthew J. Sizemore is leaving La Crescenta, as his face for radio is finally taking him places.
While we busy ourselves pondering the percentage of Lamar residents that retain their original adult teeth and/or if there is a Starbucks, Matt will be exploiting his talents over the FM frequency while hopefully not exposing himself at his two new hangs: The Stockman's Lounge or The Buzzard's Roost (real places, swear)
...Or he'll be at tractor pulls and Amy Grant concerts.
With an exorbitant amount of DUR* arrests, juvenile delinquency and a Mayor that I swear I know from TO CATCH A PREDATOR, Lamar is lucky to have such a handsome and charismatic young man gracing their airwave. (Especially since as soon as Kobe, Colorado gets funding-- it’s like, CLICK!)
So please join him for an old fashioned house party for an old fashioned ass grabbing that says "hello," "goodbye," "Happy Birthday," "Tebow," "Wheeee," "KOBE," "BAH," "BAAAAP" and "Come back soon," because if there is one thing that we all know, it's that SIZE DOES MATTER!
*above driving drunk, the people of Lamar prefer to just drive under restraint.
6/1/11
BABY WELCOMING!
AND HOW ARE YOU GONNA LOVE IT? With cute and fuzzy things, plush things, things stuffed with natural, non-toxic fibers (note to the taxidermists in the group).
AND YOU ARE GOING TO BRING THOSE non toxic, baby-friendly offerings to Great Aunt Judy's house on Saturday, June 18th!! And in return you get to eat delicious things and drink Corona!
This will be the best Anticipated Womb Exodus Party you will ever attend because we love Sam and Drew and any result of those two gene pools is going to be one hell of a light designing, apple pie baking, mastermind so you better get on it's good side if you want...whatever a light designing baker genius does when it's old enough to do it.
So please join us Saturday the 18th for an afternoon welcoming Wending spawn!
*please note that the opinions expressed in this Evite do not reflect the personal opinions of the author in regards to reproduction, taxidermy and small pets.
5/6/11
Come Sing with Celine!
Dimples Karaoke Bar
DIMPLES. So many things come to mind: Genetic inheritance. Adorable babies. Golf balls. Aging lady parts. Mario Lopez.
BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE!!
KARAOKE!! WITH CELINE!! ON HER BIRTHDAYY!!!
Please join us for an evening of recognizing why we're not American Idols at the famous Dimples in Burbank! Established in 1982, this bar is as old as Celine! Awwwwkkkward.
There's a full bar and even food if the vocal chord strain strikes up an appetite!
And just remember that a little cash goes a long way as it will definitely send you to the top of the karaoke list!
Hope you all can make it or we might have to bust a cap in yo dimply azzzz.
Please wash your hands before returning to your homepage.
xo,
Management
DIMPLES. So many things come to mind: Genetic inheritance. Adorable babies. Golf balls. Aging lady parts. Mario Lopez.
BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE!!
KARAOKE!! WITH CELINE!! ON HER BIRTHDAYY!!!
Please join us for an evening of recognizing why we're not American Idols at the famous Dimples in Burbank! Established in 1982, this bar is as old as Celine! Awwwwkkkward.
There's a full bar and even food if the vocal chord strain strikes up an appetite!
And just remember that a little cash goes a long way as it will definitely send you to the top of the karaoke list!
Hope you all can make it or we might have to bust a cap in yo dimply azzzz.
Please wash your hands before returning to your homepage.
xo,
Management
4/15/11
Marie K. Peters' Triumphant Return to The States
The Peters' Pad
G'day all you silly mongrels!
Please join Marie in an evening celebrating her healthy and happy return to La Crusty!! We missed her a whole bunch and now it's time to gather 'round the bush telly to actually hear the stories she only blogged about!
There will be a live Toss-the- Shrimp on the Barbie Demo, a brief lecture on the artistry of hitch hiking and How-Tos on escaping creepy garden sheds/evading drunk captors!
Entrance Fee: YOUR FACE (and a six pack if you are so inclined)
Peters can't wait to see you! And even TyTy is getting her hair did, so don't miss!!
Hooroo!
Management
G'day all you silly mongrels!
Please join Marie in an evening celebrating her healthy and happy return to La Crusty!! We missed her a whole bunch and now it's time to gather 'round the bush telly to actually hear the stories she only blogged about!
There will be a live Toss-the- Shrimp on the Barbie Demo, a brief lecture on the artistry of hitch hiking and How-Tos on escaping creepy garden sheds/evading drunk captors!
Entrance Fee: YOUR FACE (and a six pack if you are so inclined)
Peters can't wait to see you! And even TyTy is getting her hair did, so don't miss!!
Hooroo!
Management
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